Wednesday 18 April 2012

Test Tube My-Ha

More tests today. This time to see what more my body is rejecting. Crucial penicillin is already out, which makes me getting better, taking that bit longer.
This is fucking shit I'll tell ya! It's a constant vicious cycle that I seem to be running like a headless chicken in. The feeling of hope, then to when you get to that last curve, a big slap in the face with a evil laugh!

This feels far to familiar too often! Why can't my body just be normal and in a normal working state!? Why do I have to go through such highs and shit lows to get through life! Man, this breaks my heart big time.

If it's not something to do with my ovaries, then it would be something attached to it. And if it's not that, then it's life, right!?

Keep head high and maintain strong? I've been doing that for my whole life.

Chelsea and Westminster hospital is shit, can't believe it!
Arriving there on Monday and saying to me I don't even have an appointment! Taking nearly 30 minutes for them to direct me to the ward I needed to go to, and I was late!!!! That was not needed!

Trying to get my head around it all. Trying to understand how my body is working for me, or not. Educating myself on what I need and what I don't need. It's like a constant biology lesson in my life. And I'll tell you what, it's not exciting when you know that all this crap is happening to yourself. I envy everyone out there with healthy lives. Happy lives and with that happy go lucky approach. It's a constant battle for me and it sucks.

Head high and think positive right!?........... Yeah.

Remembering one thing.
Look out for number 1!



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