Slayer-Bloodline
This keeps me going
Sunday 29 April 2012
Thursday 26 April 2012
Shimmer
He calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable.
And all that he intends
And all he keeps inside, isn't on the label.
He says he's ashamed
And can he take me for awhile.
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend.
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable.
And all that he intends
And all he keeps inside, isn't on the label.
He says he's ashamed
And can he take me for awhile.
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend.
We're here and now, but will we ever be again
Cos I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade.
Away, again.
He dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise, pink linen and white paper.
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterflies, reality escapes him.
He says that love is for fools who fall behind.
And I'm somewhere in between
I never really know
A killer from a saviour
Till I break at the bend.
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away...
Guess I'll let it go.
Tuesday 24 April 2012
127 Hours
Just watched 127 Hours.
Few thoughts.
FUCK
DAMN
JAMES FRANCO IS HOT
OUCH
But mainly....
PREMONITION!!!
Aron Ralston..... WOW!
Sacrificing a part of you to get forward in life. I've dreamt this. I've felt this. I am doing this.
Things I've done in the past. Things I've regretted. Counted the things I've regretted. Chronically organised these regretful things. Make changes. See the changes. Live the present, but now see yourself in that shit hole that you can't seem to get yourself out of.
In this shit hole, you think. You think a lot.
You think about all the things you could have made different. Made better. Done better. BE BETTER! FUCK!
I day dream a lot. Most of the time on my commute to work. I spend a minimum of 1 hour on that slug hipster bus called the number 55. I like it. It's MY TIME!
The darkest thoughts have usually been when I've been at my lowest. The times where my health shrivels to its peak. Bad peak.
I've thought of many things. Things of when I'd have kids by. The sort of guy I would marry. How many, and how my children would look like. But these are thoughts. Are thoughts and premonitions the same?
Premonition:
1. an intuition of a future, usually unwelcome, occurrence; foreboding
2. an early warning of a future event; forewarning
I remember I blacked out once. I blacked out when I was doing radio therapy, and I laid there unknowingly, I konked out. I awoke, but I awoke from shock. That shock was my premonition.
I saw a funeral. Funeral that my family were in attendance to. Where was I?
I was six feet under.
My-Ha Lang. 1986-2013.
NO FUCKING LIE!!!!
This scares me. That film fucking scares me. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!???
It made me remember about this. I can't stop thinking about this. I will forever think about this.
Can premonitions come true? Am I that crazy to let it happen?
I'd rather sleep forever, now.........
This is probably so badly written, where it's just random words put down and you don't understand. But I don't care. I'll be out of here it seems!
Few thoughts.
FUCK
DAMN
JAMES FRANCO IS HOT
OUCH
But mainly....
PREMONITION!!!
Aron Ralston..... WOW!
Sacrificing a part of you to get forward in life. I've dreamt this. I've felt this. I am doing this.
Things I've done in the past. Things I've regretted. Counted the things I've regretted. Chronically organised these regretful things. Make changes. See the changes. Live the present, but now see yourself in that shit hole that you can't seem to get yourself out of.
In this shit hole, you think. You think a lot.
You think about all the things you could have made different. Made better. Done better. BE BETTER! FUCK!
I day dream a lot. Most of the time on my commute to work. I spend a minimum of 1 hour on that slug hipster bus called the number 55. I like it. It's MY TIME!
The darkest thoughts have usually been when I've been at my lowest. The times where my health shrivels to its peak. Bad peak.
I've thought of many things. Things of when I'd have kids by. The sort of guy I would marry. How many, and how my children would look like. But these are thoughts. Are thoughts and premonitions the same?
Premonition:
1. an intuition of a future, usually unwelcome, occurrence; foreboding
2. an early warning of a future event; forewarning
I remember I blacked out once. I blacked out when I was doing radio therapy, and I laid there unknowingly, I konked out. I awoke, but I awoke from shock. That shock was my premonition.
I saw a funeral. Funeral that my family were in attendance to. Where was I?
I was six feet under.
My-Ha Lang. 1986-2013.
NO FUCKING LIE!!!!
This scares me. That film fucking scares me. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!???
It made me remember about this. I can't stop thinking about this. I will forever think about this.
Can premonitions come true? Am I that crazy to let it happen?
I'd rather sleep forever, now.........
This is probably so badly written, where it's just random words put down and you don't understand. But I don't care. I'll be out of here it seems!
Sunday 22 April 2012
Work Stuff
Did a shoot with Artego a few months back.
Did the colours and techniques for these looks.
Randomly searched online for it and they were already up with the techniques and how to do these looks!
It was a autumn/winter and spring/summer look we shot for 2012.
They came up with the theme for the looks. Richard directed the collection.
Haircuts by Richard
Colours by Me!
Styling by Michelle
Did the colours and techniques for these looks.
Randomly searched online for it and they were already up with the techniques and how to do these looks!
It was a autumn/winter and spring/summer look we shot for 2012.
They came up with the theme for the looks. Richard directed the collection.
Haircuts by Richard
Colours by Me!
Styling by Michelle
Saturday 21 April 2012
Friday 20 April 2012
Forever and Ever.......
It's a feeling of deja vu for me constantly...
How weird is that? That moment you instantly remember and feel that 'special' or 'awkward' feeling. I always stop to remember why I feel how I do. Then it dawns on me! Yes! That's it!
Today hasn't been much different. I went to arrange my appointments for the weeks ahead. Had and having a lot of time off work this past month. Helps to keep the mind at ease.
I feel a bit at peace at the moment. Well to be honest, I can't feel any better. I am at a weird place. Perhaps negative bubble.
My mind has done it again, looking in that one lane towards doom! *shake it the fuck off My-Ha!*
I miss my friend....
How weird is that? That moment you instantly remember and feel that 'special' or 'awkward' feeling. I always stop to remember why I feel how I do. Then it dawns on me! Yes! That's it!
Today hasn't been much different. I went to arrange my appointments for the weeks ahead. Had and having a lot of time off work this past month. Helps to keep the mind at ease.
I feel a bit at peace at the moment. Well to be honest, I can't feel any better. I am at a weird place. Perhaps negative bubble.
My mind has done it again, looking in that one lane towards doom! *shake it the fuck off My-Ha!*
I miss my friend....
Thursday 19 April 2012
Picture of The Day!
Chelsea. King's Road.
A unforced smile to a stressful afternoon at that place!!!
A unforced smile to a stressful afternoon at that place!!!
Wednesday 18 April 2012
Test Tube My-Ha
More tests today. This time to see what more my body is rejecting. Crucial penicillin is already out, which makes me getting better, taking that bit longer.
This is fucking shit I'll tell ya! It's a constant vicious cycle that I seem to be running like a headless chicken in. The feeling of hope, then to when you get to that last curve, a big slap in the face with a evil laugh!
This feels far to familiar too often! Why can't my body just be normal and in a normal working state!? Why do I have to go through such highs and shit lows to get through life! Man, this breaks my heart big time.
If it's not something to do with my ovaries, then it would be something attached to it. And if it's not that, then it's life, right!?
Keep head high and maintain strong? I've been doing that for my whole life.
Chelsea and Westminster hospital is shit, can't believe it!
Arriving there on Monday and saying to me I don't even have an appointment! Taking nearly 30 minutes for them to direct me to the ward I needed to go to, and I was late!!!! That was not needed!
Trying to get my head around it all. Trying to understand how my body is working for me, or not. Educating myself on what I need and what I don't need. It's like a constant biology lesson in my life. And I'll tell you what, it's not exciting when you know that all this crap is happening to yourself. I envy everyone out there with healthy lives. Happy lives and with that happy go lucky approach. It's a constant battle for me and it sucks.
Head high and think positive right!?........... Yeah.
Remembering one thing.
Look out for number 1!
This is fucking shit I'll tell ya! It's a constant vicious cycle that I seem to be running like a headless chicken in. The feeling of hope, then to when you get to that last curve, a big slap in the face with a evil laugh!
This feels far to familiar too often! Why can't my body just be normal and in a normal working state!? Why do I have to go through such highs and shit lows to get through life! Man, this breaks my heart big time.
If it's not something to do with my ovaries, then it would be something attached to it. And if it's not that, then it's life, right!?
Keep head high and maintain strong? I've been doing that for my whole life.
Chelsea and Westminster hospital is shit, can't believe it!
Arriving there on Monday and saying to me I don't even have an appointment! Taking nearly 30 minutes for them to direct me to the ward I needed to go to, and I was late!!!! That was not needed!
Trying to get my head around it all. Trying to understand how my body is working for me, or not. Educating myself on what I need and what I don't need. It's like a constant biology lesson in my life. And I'll tell you what, it's not exciting when you know that all this crap is happening to yourself. I envy everyone out there with healthy lives. Happy lives and with that happy go lucky approach. It's a constant battle for me and it sucks.
Head high and think positive right!?........... Yeah.
Remembering one thing.
Look out for number 1!
Tuesday 17 April 2012
Sunday 15 April 2012
Fat Bitch Gave Up!
Yesterday night, I pushed myself. Today, I wanted to even more. After spending the day eating pure shit at the cafe, I needed to run it off. Spent the afternoon looking for running shorts with a zip compartment at the back, no bloody joy!!! :(
I was aiming for half a marathon today. Too ambitious, I think so. Considering I ran my heart out last night, I decided that if I did it, I did it.
Ghetto runner!
With Wicked green socks!
Cut my run short. Foaming at the mouth and all! The pain in my shins have come back. It's getting really painful nowadays.
Thinking all sorts this evening.
Couldn't quite concentrate.
I feel rather crap.
Got an ice cream! Fuck it!
I was aiming for half a marathon today. Too ambitious, I think so. Considering I ran my heart out last night, I decided that if I did it, I did it.
Ghetto runner!
With Wicked green socks!
Cut my run short. Foaming at the mouth and all! The pain in my shins have come back. It's getting really painful nowadays.
Thinking all sorts this evening.
Couldn't quite concentrate.
I feel rather crap.
Got an ice cream! Fuck it!
Stress Makes Me Run
Annoyed that I didn't bring my running stuff with me to work on Saturday. Tempted to buy it all in town just so I could run home! Glad I didn't. Soon as I got home. Got changed, laced up, and ran!!!!!
I was running from something, something that made me feel so crap all day on Saturday. I was feeling weird that evening. Sad, angry, hurt and just real shit. I guess I wanted to run to take it out in it. I seem to have done well. I beat my personal best at 10K. 35 minutes to run it! Bare proud!!!!!
Seems like 10k is getting better with time... I suppose I should run longer if my body can take it right?
Still feeling upset, but a feeling of accomplishment on top! :)
My-Ha the Nike Ninja signing out! ;)
I was running from something, something that made me feel so crap all day on Saturday. I was feeling weird that evening. Sad, angry, hurt and just real shit. I guess I wanted to run to take it out in it. I seem to have done well. I beat my personal best at 10K. 35 minutes to run it! Bare proud!!!!!
Seems like 10k is getting better with time... I suppose I should run longer if my body can take it right?
Still feeling upset, but a feeling of accomplishment on top! :)
My-Ha the Nike Ninja signing out! ;)
Saturday 14 April 2012
Sounds Familiar
This is W, O, M, B. The Womb.
And if you my pets, learn to listen, I'll let you crawl back in. Here is something you should drop to your knees for, and worship, but you are too stupid to realise yourselves.
A song for the deaf, that is for you.
And if you my pets, learn to listen, I'll let you crawl back in. Here is something you should drop to your knees for, and worship, but you are too stupid to realise yourselves.
A song for the deaf, that is for you.
Friday 13 April 2012
Wednesday 11 April 2012
Rise n Shine
It's the morning of Wednesday 11th April. Been wide awake since 6!!! Taken the day off, again! (it's nice to work the odd days in between!)
Insomnia some might call it, I call it mad fucking nerves!!!
Yesterday went ok actually. Strolled in and just spoke about me mainly. And about the background records in my family. (weird)
My legs are still asleep at the moment. I ran home from work last night, after the rain of course. Carrying a rucksack seems to be getting easier and easier.
Chewing chewing gum helps keep you not concentrate too much on your breathing, which helps me!!!! Who knew!
Wish me luck!!!!!!!!
I need it......
Insomnia some might call it, I call it mad fucking nerves!!!
Yesterday went ok actually. Strolled in and just spoke about me mainly. And about the background records in my family. (weird)
My legs are still asleep at the moment. I ran home from work last night, after the rain of course. Carrying a rucksack seems to be getting easier and easier.
Chewing chewing gum helps keep you not concentrate too much on your breathing, which helps me!!!! Who knew!
Wish me luck!!!!!!!!
I need it......
Monday 9 April 2012
Tomorrow is 10/4/12
I have two serious things to think about!
It's all happening tomorrow!
I want to cry!
It's all happening tomorrow!
I want to cry!
Easter, measter! Meh!
Easter Monday. Crazy to say, needed an emergency day off!!!
Who works over the Easter period!? Me!
Well not today.
My mind has been so occupied lately with mad shit going on everywhere. I've just been trying to run to actually escape from it all and just, run.....
It's even nice when I don't have any music playing.
That peaceful time you get on your own. Time to think, time to digest things that are going on around you. Silence helps.
Still running a lot, which is good. Weather has been crap though. This makes my runs home from work non existent right now. So dull out there.
Been mind boggled for the past few days...
"I DON'T GET IT!!!!?".
I really don't!
Where's that person you need to talk to at a time like this?
Awaiting answers when you're desperate to know things sucks. Sucks hard.
Wednesday 4 April 2012
Marathon Prep
So I've always enjoyed running, but recently, been getting really into it. It sure helps when you have people around you who run on a regular basis and pushes you to do so.
At the moment, I am pushing myself to do a full 10k run without stopping! It's getting there! It's also getting easier!
Recent attempt took me 58 minutes!
I did jog slowly for a while mind. I think the worse thing to do is stop right?
Yesterday, I beat my personal best and ran 10k in 47 minutes!!! Non stop! Mega fucking chuffed!!! And I did almost bust my lip while adjusting my head band on the treadmill!
*warning, perhaps stop while adjusting things!*
My ideal situation is to run 10k every other day. Been working so far. But if I want to make that happen, I need to start running home from work more often.
It's just such a killer running on hard concrete and carrying a rucksack, which I do thank you again by the way Nick!!! :)
I'm gonna go visit a few running shops today, I need new trainers. My Nike Frees are almost done! Lunar eclipse perhaps???
Run China girl, run!
My new moto!!!! ;)
Bisous! Xxx
At the moment, I am pushing myself to do a full 10k run without stopping! It's getting there! It's also getting easier!
Recent attempt took me 58 minutes!
I did jog slowly for a while mind. I think the worse thing to do is stop right?
Yesterday, I beat my personal best and ran 10k in 47 minutes!!! Non stop! Mega fucking chuffed!!! And I did almost bust my lip while adjusting my head band on the treadmill!
*warning, perhaps stop while adjusting things!*
My ideal situation is to run 10k every other day. Been working so far. But if I want to make that happen, I need to start running home from work more often.
It's just such a killer running on hard concrete and carrying a rucksack, which I do thank you again by the way Nick!!! :)
I'm gonna go visit a few running shops today, I need new trainers. My Nike Frees are almost done! Lunar eclipse perhaps???
Run China girl, run!
My new moto!!!! ;)
Bisous! Xxx
Details Make The Design
It's the smallest details in life that make me happy.
Just realised I had pockets inside my fencing jacket!
And there pops in my phone!!!
Just realised I had pockets inside my fencing jacket!
And there pops in my phone!!!
Sunday 1 April 2012
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts.
Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.....
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts.
Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.....
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