Love Monty and My-Ha
xxx
Monday 26 December 2011
Monday 19 December 2011
Sunday 18 December 2011
The Blob
This was my first ever horror/sci-fi film I remember watching.
It freaked me out, BIG TIME!
*looks online to buy*
Monday 12 December 2011
Dent
Here I am typing:
DO NOT CRACK MY-HA! DO NOT CRACK!
But tears are slowly seeping down my face.
I have cracked once again....
Can't handle it anymore!
DO NOT CRACK MY-HA! DO NOT CRACK!
But tears are slowly seeping down my face.
I have cracked once again....
Can't handle it anymore!
Sunday 11 December 2011
11th Dream
Last month, I had consecutive dreams about a different ex each time. All being nightmares actually.
Last night wasn't any different.
This was mainly about my first bf you could say. He was a troublesome boy, and it still felt it till this day in that nightmare.
He kept me hostage at times. Tortured me to do things I did not want to do. Batter me, made me cry, and basically made my life living hell.
Whenever I got the opportunity to go out and see my friends, I would beg them to come back to mine (where him and I lived) and make them stay with me. They knew nothing of how bad it was with him...
He would reluctantly give in, and let my friends stay with me for that bit, but after was always HELL!
I bumped into a recent ex, and it felt like a relief. I wanted to stay with him, as I knew he could protect me. He knew me better than any of the others. I confided in him, and he felt he had to do something for my wellbeing. It was awkward.
I awoke.
Answers????????
Last night wasn't any different.
This was mainly about my first bf you could say. He was a troublesome boy, and it still felt it till this day in that nightmare.
He kept me hostage at times. Tortured me to do things I did not want to do. Batter me, made me cry, and basically made my life living hell.
Whenever I got the opportunity to go out and see my friends, I would beg them to come back to mine (where him and I lived) and make them stay with me. They knew nothing of how bad it was with him...
He would reluctantly give in, and let my friends stay with me for that bit, but after was always HELL!
I bumped into a recent ex, and it felt like a relief. I wanted to stay with him, as I knew he could protect me. He knew me better than any of the others. I confided in him, and he felt he had to do something for my wellbeing. It was awkward.
I awoke.
Answers????????
Wednesday 7 December 2011
Meh!
Insane Photoshop Skills | Break.com
Crazy thing is, I know Mr Lucas Purdy can do this freehand! Ouch!
Crazy thing is, I know Mr Lucas Purdy can do this freehand! Ouch!
Tuesday 6 December 2011
Something I'm Good At???
So guess who passed their Fencing Exam and won the Females tournament???!!!! =D
It's a very nice feeling.
It's a very nice feeling.
Sunday 4 December 2011
Wednesday 30 November 2011
Minus Zero
My body is failing on me big time.
I use to be scared of dying of when I was told about my Ovarian Cancer at the age of 21. But for the past month, I haven't been at all. In fact, I've faced it many times recently.
I'm dying anyway right?
This is dark.
I use to be scared of dying of when I was told about my Ovarian Cancer at the age of 21. But for the past month, I haven't been at all. In fact, I've faced it many times recently.
I'm dying anyway right?
This is dark.
Tuesday 29 November 2011
28th Dream
The day of the 28th was a day of about 100 calls and numerous amount of texts... The chasing, the constant worry got the better of me.
The prescription of Diazepam is a miracle. Out for the count. No need to count those sheep.
The chase followed me to my dream.
I searched high and low for you. I called every person I could think of that was close to you. I had someone, but can't remember who, who was with me to help me find you. I gave up. I cried. I lost.
Was dragged out that night to somewhere in Shaftsbury, London. Hated it. Wanted to go home and sleep forever.
I walked off from the others, and wondered on my own. Didn't care how dangerous it was for me to be on my own late that night. Didn't care what happened to me.
I came across some live music being played. It sounded great, so I followed the sounds of the guitars.
Big plaque named "The Garrick Theatre" was the one main thing I remembered clearly. Does it even exist?
The forum was half full, almost towards the end of a gig. I peered through, and saw you playing on stage.
"WHAT THE FUCK" I thought.
Didn't know how I felt, but definitely felt I had to go.
Your guitar stopped playing, and I realised you had noticed me then. I walked faster, then began to run.
When did a alley way exist in Shaftsbury Avenue area? Who cares, I ran down there. Pass the market stalls that had barbed wired on the ground to trip me up.
You shouted my name. I ignored and ran even faster.
I ran myself into a dark wall.
The prescription of Diazepam is a miracle. Out for the count. No need to count those sheep.
The chase followed me to my dream.
I searched high and low for you. I called every person I could think of that was close to you. I had someone, but can't remember who, who was with me to help me find you. I gave up. I cried. I lost.
Was dragged out that night to somewhere in Shaftsbury, London. Hated it. Wanted to go home and sleep forever.
I walked off from the others, and wondered on my own. Didn't care how dangerous it was for me to be on my own late that night. Didn't care what happened to me.
I came across some live music being played. It sounded great, so I followed the sounds of the guitars.
Big plaque named "The Garrick Theatre" was the one main thing I remembered clearly. Does it even exist?
The forum was half full, almost towards the end of a gig. I peered through, and saw you playing on stage.
"WHAT THE FUCK" I thought.
Didn't know how I felt, but definitely felt I had to go.
Your guitar stopped playing, and I realised you had noticed me then. I walked faster, then began to run.
When did a alley way exist in Shaftsbury Avenue area? Who cares, I ran down there. Pass the market stalls that had barbed wired on the ground to trip me up.
You shouted my name. I ignored and ran even faster.
I ran myself into a dark wall.
Thursday 10 November 2011
Tuesday 1 November 2011
Saturday 29 October 2011
Sunday 9 October 2011
Saturday 8 October 2011
Sunday 4 September 2011
Wednesday 24 August 2011
Part 6
Running back through the fire
When there’s nothing left to save
It’s like chasing the very last train
When it’s too late
It tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all okay
When there’s nothing left to save
It’s like chasing the very last train
When it’s too late
It tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all okay
Donastia (San Sebastien)
So here I am, lying here in the sand/beach in San Sebastien, Northern Spain. Looking onto the waves and people go by.
Wiping the residue of strawberry ice cream (as I ate it upside down/sideways) all over my face as if some Spanish surfer dude just spunked all over me. I take this time and think...................
Personally I think, I think too much. Don't you think?
Getting here was pretty easy actually. Doing some last minute google research online hours before flight departure to then thinking sod it, I'll try and speak French (as most speak French here) to get about. (Damn you Alex for not being able to take the time off work!)
Travelling alone seems to be getting easier and easier. Doing it loads for work recently, and it's actually quite nice to have some alone time. But this certain alone time was put a lot of things into perspective for me. What one has to do, what one should do, and what one must do. *sigh*
I have to admit, I slept as soon as I found my hotel.... Shattered. A few disputes here and there, and I was back out!
Being in a Spanish city, you're bound to find yourself walking around and around, and then somehow be trying on some clothes in Zara, and what do I do? I buy bloody clothes!
Retail therapy actually does help. You forget about the problems you have, and think, "Oh, this is nice. What can I wear this to?".
Yep, that was me this late afternoon. Also following that thought, "Oooooh, how will I fit this in my one and only hand luggage? SOD IT, it'll fit!". I'm terrible.
The Basque posse seem to like their ice cream a lot. Everyone licking their cones as if they are seducing the man hood of an ice cream man. Looks sexy. They lick all over the cream shaft (ha!) till they get a nice smooth surface, to then take a nib at the head and all that ice cream goes all over the outer lip/mouth. (oh god, my minds gone a bit wild!) Nonetheless, it's a TING out here, and it's goooooood!
Not feeling 100% so I plan to find me some dinner and off to bed for an early night. I plan to bask myself on the beach tomorrow. Take a Txu Txu train around town and check out Blake Oakfield from Angry Boys doing his thing in the waves.
p.s WIFI on the beach? Luverleeeeeyyy!
Wiping the residue of strawberry ice cream (as I ate it upside down/sideways) all over my face as if some Spanish surfer dude just spunked all over me. I take this time and think...................
Personally I think, I think too much. Don't you think?
Getting here was pretty easy actually. Doing some last minute google research online hours before flight departure to then thinking sod it, I'll try and speak French (as most speak French here) to get about. (Damn you Alex for not being able to take the time off work!)
Travelling alone seems to be getting easier and easier. Doing it loads for work recently, and it's actually quite nice to have some alone time. But this certain alone time was put a lot of things into perspective for me. What one has to do, what one should do, and what one must do. *sigh*
I have to admit, I slept as soon as I found my hotel.... Shattered. A few disputes here and there, and I was back out!
Being in a Spanish city, you're bound to find yourself walking around and around, and then somehow be trying on some clothes in Zara, and what do I do? I buy bloody clothes!
Retail therapy actually does help. You forget about the problems you have, and think, "Oh, this is nice. What can I wear this to?".
Yep, that was me this late afternoon. Also following that thought, "Oooooh, how will I fit this in my one and only hand luggage? SOD IT, it'll fit!". I'm terrible.
The Basque posse seem to like their ice cream a lot. Everyone licking their cones as if they are seducing the man hood of an ice cream man. Looks sexy. They lick all over the cream shaft (ha!) till they get a nice smooth surface, to then take a nib at the head and all that ice cream goes all over the outer lip/mouth. (oh god, my minds gone a bit wild!) Nonetheless, it's a TING out here, and it's goooooood!
Not feeling 100% so I plan to find me some dinner and off to bed for an early night. I plan to bask myself on the beach tomorrow. Take a Txu Txu train around town and check out Blake Oakfield from Angry Boys doing his thing in the waves.
p.s WIFI on the beach? Luverleeeeeyyy!
Saturday 20 August 2011
Monday 15 August 2011
Monday 1 August 2011
Wednesday 27 July 2011
Tuesday 26 July 2011
Monday 25 July 2011
Boyfriend
I wish he was my boyfriend
I wish he was my boyfriend
I'd love him to the very end
But instead he's just a friend
I wish he was my boyfriend
There's nothing worse than sitting all alone at home
And waiting waiting waiting waiting by the phone
I hope that he's at home
Waiting by his phone
I wonder if he knows
That I want him
I wish he was my boyfriend
I wish he was my boyfriend
I'd love him to the very end but instead he's just a friend
I wish he was my boyfriend
The other girl is not like me
She's prettier and skinnier
She has a college degree
I dropped out when I was seventeen
If only I could get her out of the picture
Then he would know how much I want him
One day I'll make him mine
And we'll be together all the time
We'll sit and watch the sun rise
And gaze into eachother's eyes
And know that he knows
I know that he knows
That he wants to be my boyfriend
Boyfriend
Boyfriend
I'd love him to the very end
But instead he's just a friend
I wish he was my boyfriend
I wish he was my boyfriend
I'd love him to the very end
But instead he's just a friend
I wish he was my boyfriend
I wish he was my boyfriend
I'd love him to the very end
But instead he's just a friend
I wish he was my boyfriend
There's nothing worse than sitting all alone at home
And waiting waiting waiting waiting by the phone
I hope that he's at home
Waiting by his phone
I wonder if he knows
That I want him
I wish he was my boyfriend
I wish he was my boyfriend
I'd love him to the very end but instead he's just a friend
I wish he was my boyfriend
The other girl is not like me
She's prettier and skinnier
She has a college degree
I dropped out when I was seventeen
If only I could get her out of the picture
Then he would know how much I want him
One day I'll make him mine
And we'll be together all the time
We'll sit and watch the sun rise
And gaze into eachother's eyes
And know that he knows
I know that he knows
That he wants to be my boyfriend
Boyfriend
Boyfriend
I'd love him to the very end
But instead he's just a friend
I wish he was my boyfriend
I wish he was my boyfriend
I'd love him to the very end
But instead he's just a friend
I wish he was my boyfriend
Friday 22 July 2011
Tick Tock
Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know.
Come out upon my seas
Curse missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure?
Or am I part of the disease?
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know.
Come out upon my seas
Curse missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure?
Or am I part of the disease?
Let Down
High hopes to then be disappointed seems to be the only way.
Will never win.
Will never get what I want.
Will never be 'that' easy.
Will always be the same shit over and over.
Will it ever be just perfect?
So fucking gutted.
Will never win.
Will never get what I want.
Will never be 'that' easy.
Will always be the same shit over and over.
Will it ever be just perfect?
So fucking gutted.
Wednesday 20 July 2011
FIXED!
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
PHEW!
Tuesday just gone was the day I was to find out whether the cancer had come back or not.....
DRUM ROLLLLLLL...........
In the clear 14 months running! =) PHEW!
What a fucking relief!
I feel to cry with joy with all this weight off my shoulders!
The images still doesn't look great mind. The cancerous cells are still about, but just spread evenly around the ovaries.
Happy?
........Just a bit. =)
DRUM ROLLLLLLL...........
In the clear 14 months running! =) PHEW!
What a fucking relief!
I feel to cry with joy with all this weight off my shoulders!
The images still doesn't look great mind. The cancerous cells are still about, but just spread evenly around the ovaries.
Happy?
........Just a bit. =)
Sunday 17 July 2011
Thursday 14 July 2011
Tuesday 12 July 2011
OH!
Had my quarterly check up/scan today...
Results next week.
Had two bad dreams prior.
First one was of me having no eyebrows.
Second was me holding a pair of clippers. Started to shave the side of my head, but then just made my haircut into a bob style.
The fact that these two dreams have similar subjects, 'HAIR!', I'm freaking out!
Is it too good to be true or straight up realistic?
What made it worse was when my doctor had a look at me, and said 'OH', paused, and walked away without saying a thing to me!!!
Stressed out or what!!
Very sad at the moment.... ='(
Results next week.
Had two bad dreams prior.
First one was of me having no eyebrows.
Second was me holding a pair of clippers. Started to shave the side of my head, but then just made my haircut into a bob style.
The fact that these two dreams have similar subjects, 'HAIR!', I'm freaking out!
Is it too good to be true or straight up realistic?
What made it worse was when my doctor had a look at me, and said 'OH', paused, and walked away without saying a thing to me!!!
Stressed out or what!!
Very sad at the moment.... ='(
Sunday 10 July 2011
Sunday 3 July 2011
Word!
"M, Y, hyphen, H, A. It's the revolutionary name. You know why? Cos it's got punctuation in the middle of it! You don't often see that shit." S.Mouse (Angry Boys)
Wednesday 29 June 2011
Almost 25!
Actually looking forward to getting older in August.
24 was not a good number. That oddly enough made me feel older, but bad older!
Bring on 25!!!
24 was not a good number. That oddly enough made me feel older, but bad older!
Bring on 25!!!
Sunday 26 June 2011
Sunday 19 June 2011
Friday 17 June 2011
Will You...
People need to stop getting engaged, married or getting pregnant!
It makes me feel that tad bit more single!
Blehhhhhh!
Nope, not mine!!!! :(
It makes me feel that tad bit more single!
Blehhhhhh!
Nope, not mine!!!! :(
What is Anxiety?
After years of battling this, I still can't quite figure out what it actually is, or the proper cause for it!
Is it when you are given bad news or something you don't want to hear that then makes you panic?
Is it another word for depression?
Is it a sign of paranoia?
Is it the come down of when something was sooooo good but then has just ended up shit?
It is caused by stress?
Is it your nerves getting the better side of you?
Is it because you think too much?
I can go on and on, and I would say it's all of the above plus more! I just can't quite pin point my point! This makes me agitated!
Wish life was as easy as it is on The only way is Essex!!!
Is it when you are given bad news or something you don't want to hear that then makes you panic?
Is it another word for depression?
Is it a sign of paranoia?
Is it the come down of when something was sooooo good but then has just ended up shit?
It is caused by stress?
Is it your nerves getting the better side of you?
Is it because you think too much?
I can go on and on, and I would say it's all of the above plus more! I just can't quite pin point my point! This makes me agitated!
Wish life was as easy as it is on The only way is Essex!!!
Thursday 16 June 2011
Wednesday 15 June 2011
Change of Field
I thought I lived by the canal....
I now seem to live by a fully grown grassy, moss, fungi piece of land! Urgh!
Who do I call to sort this!!!!??
Not the best view lately!!!
I now seem to live by a fully grown grassy, moss, fungi piece of land! Urgh!
Who do I call to sort this!!!!??
Not the best view lately!!!
Lasagne
Was invited round for dinner to have some home made lasagne...
It was good.
It made me want to make my own...
Yeah..... So..... not sooooo great!
REMEMBER THE WHITE SAUCE MY-HA!!!!!
Second time round
Getting better at it....
Almost to perfection?
People have said it is nice! RESULT!
Making another in a bit...
Must learn to make something else!
It was good.
It made me want to make my own...
Yeah..... So..... not sooooo great!
REMEMBER THE WHITE SAUCE MY-HA!!!!!
Second time round
Getting better at it....
Almost to perfection?
People have said it is nice! RESULT!
Making another in a bit...
Must learn to make something else!
Tuesday 14 June 2011
Basket Toff!
Slowly getting the hang of cycling. Took my bike out in the park today after a morning at the gym, and actually feeling ill, I still prevailed!! Getting better....
My-Ha on the streets soon come!
Hooter broke. Gutted.
My-Ha on the streets soon come!
Hooter broke. Gutted.
Ugh!
Didn't realise how many 'dents' I had on my face!
So Special at the Alibi on Friday 10th June just gone had to be the best one yet! SLIMZEEEEEEE! =)
So Special at the Alibi on Friday 10th June just gone had to be the best one yet! SLIMZEEEEEEE! =)
One on One
What does one do when feeling a bit bleurgggh! One sits in Tinderbox facing a wall drinking hot chocolate with a raspberry smoothie and eating chocolate cake! I don't even like chocolate! Starring at a blank wall, but canvas I would like to say it and reflecting on what's going on at the mo, painting what I would prefer ones life to be. Shit! One must get out of the hole! It feels fucking lame...
Why is one talking like this?
One needs to shake it off! :)
Everyone seems to be getting engaged and pregnant at the mo, and where I congratulate and share my happiness with them, it only makes me feel just that tad bit lonely! Yes, thanks guys!!!!!!
I've worked hard now, now I wanna play. Summer is here, festivals are coming, annual leave is approaching, my hair is long enough to let it down, so what the fuck am I eating chocolate cake for and reading Glamour, women of the year issue in Tinderbox!!!? Jesus!!!!
Why is one talking like this?
One needs to shake it off! :)
Everyone seems to be getting engaged and pregnant at the mo, and where I congratulate and share my happiness with them, it only makes me feel just that tad bit lonely! Yes, thanks guys!!!!!!
I've worked hard now, now I wanna play. Summer is here, festivals are coming, annual leave is approaching, my hair is long enough to let it down, so what the fuck am I eating chocolate cake for and reading Glamour, women of the year issue in Tinderbox!!!? Jesus!!!!
Sad Day
Today/tonight, I am in a dark place... It feels horrible.
Words cannot describe how it feels. Almost, stabbed in the back, or the feeling of let down from someone you care about.
Why? Exactly the same question I ask...
Can one be so persuasive that it can change someones mind and for the better or is that just living in a dream that you want it to be?
I feel sick, double sick from this horrible medication I got from the hospital that I am on for two weeks, and just generally love sick???? Fuck knows, but I don't feel great at all...
Work is stressful and at the moment, life is!
It's not meant to be! I've been there and done that, so why again!? Pretty angry at myself for letting it get to me to be honest. But I guess some things you just can't help.
I feel very sad now...
Can't sleep. This is lame.
Words cannot describe how it feels. Almost, stabbed in the back, or the feeling of let down from someone you care about.
Why? Exactly the same question I ask...
Can one be so persuasive that it can change someones mind and for the better or is that just living in a dream that you want it to be?
I feel sick, double sick from this horrible medication I got from the hospital that I am on for two weeks, and just generally love sick???? Fuck knows, but I don't feel great at all...
Work is stressful and at the moment, life is!
It's not meant to be! I've been there and done that, so why again!? Pretty angry at myself for letting it get to me to be honest. But I guess some things you just can't help.
I feel very sad now...
Can't sleep. This is lame.
Monday 13 June 2011
Sunday 12 June 2011
Thursday 9 June 2011
BSG Brazil
Not sure what's funnier....
Me,
Or the fact our model Julia was crying because of Brett at this point! =)
p.s You we're great Julia! =) Thank you! x
Mad jet lagged! Zzzzzzzz
Me,
Or the fact our model Julia was crying because of Brett at this point! =)
p.s You we're great Julia! =) Thank you! x
Mad jet lagged! Zzzzzzzz
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