I cannot deal with death. I just can't.
I never use to be afraid of dying, as it overtook me for a long period of time. I wasn't afraid, and I was actually ready for it to get me at any time.
But now, the thought of it scares me deeply.
It saddens me so much when someone I care about has to experience any sort of emotion to do with death. It has to be probably one of the worst feelings in the world, albeit toothaches.
I think even harder on how lucky I am in some ways that I am still here, even though those damn cancerous cells are still in me. Which reminds me that I have my monthly check up on Monday! =(
I can't stop crying at the thought of it all, and how helpless I feel for him.
I'm here. You know it.
xxx
