Here I am typing:
DO NOT CRACK MY-HA! DO NOT CRACK!
But tears are slowly seeping down my face.
I have cracked once again....
Can't handle it anymore!
Monday, 12 December 2011
Sunday, 11 December 2011
11th Dream
Last month, I had consecutive dreams about a different ex each time. All being nightmares actually.
Last night wasn't any different.
This was mainly about my first bf you could say. He was a troublesome boy, and it still felt it till this day in that nightmare.
He kept me hostage at times. Tortured me to do things I did not want to do. Batter me, made me cry, and basically made my life living hell.
Whenever I got the opportunity to go out and see my friends, I would beg them to come back to mine (where him and I lived) and make them stay with me. They knew nothing of how bad it was with him...
He would reluctantly give in, and let my friends stay with me for that bit, but after was always HELL!
I bumped into a recent ex, and it felt like a relief. I wanted to stay with him, as I knew he could protect me. He knew me better than any of the others. I confided in him, and he felt he had to do something for my wellbeing. It was awkward.
I awoke.
Answers????????
Last night wasn't any different.
This was mainly about my first bf you could say. He was a troublesome boy, and it still felt it till this day in that nightmare.
He kept me hostage at times. Tortured me to do things I did not want to do. Batter me, made me cry, and basically made my life living hell.
Whenever I got the opportunity to go out and see my friends, I would beg them to come back to mine (where him and I lived) and make them stay with me. They knew nothing of how bad it was with him...
He would reluctantly give in, and let my friends stay with me for that bit, but after was always HELL!
I bumped into a recent ex, and it felt like a relief. I wanted to stay with him, as I knew he could protect me. He knew me better than any of the others. I confided in him, and he felt he had to do something for my wellbeing. It was awkward.
I awoke.
Answers????????
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
Meh!
Insane Photoshop Skills | Break.com
Crazy thing is, I know Mr Lucas Purdy can do this freehand! Ouch!
Crazy thing is, I know Mr Lucas Purdy can do this freehand! Ouch!
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
Something I'm Good At???
So guess who passed their Fencing Exam and won the Females tournament???!!!! =D
It's a very nice feeling.
It's a very nice feeling.
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Minus Zero
My body is failing on me big time.
I use to be scared of dying of when I was told about my Ovarian Cancer at the age of 21. But for the past month, I haven't been at all. In fact, I've faced it many times recently.
I'm dying anyway right?
This is dark.
I use to be scared of dying of when I was told about my Ovarian Cancer at the age of 21. But for the past month, I haven't been at all. In fact, I've faced it many times recently.
I'm dying anyway right?
This is dark.
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
28th Dream
The day of the 28th was a day of about 100 calls and numerous amount of texts... The chasing, the constant worry got the better of me.
The prescription of Diazepam is a miracle. Out for the count. No need to count those sheep.
The chase followed me to my dream.
I searched high and low for you. I called every person I could think of that was close to you. I had someone, but can't remember who, who was with me to help me find you. I gave up. I cried. I lost.
Was dragged out that night to somewhere in Shaftsbury, London. Hated it. Wanted to go home and sleep forever.
I walked off from the others, and wondered on my own. Didn't care how dangerous it was for me to be on my own late that night. Didn't care what happened to me.
I came across some live music being played. It sounded great, so I followed the sounds of the guitars.
Big plaque named "The Garrick Theatre" was the one main thing I remembered clearly. Does it even exist?
The forum was half full, almost towards the end of a gig. I peered through, and saw you playing on stage.
"WHAT THE FUCK" I thought.
Didn't know how I felt, but definitely felt I had to go.
Your guitar stopped playing, and I realised you had noticed me then. I walked faster, then began to run.
When did a alley way exist in Shaftsbury Avenue area? Who cares, I ran down there. Pass the market stalls that had barbed wired on the ground to trip me up.
You shouted my name. I ignored and ran even faster.
I ran myself into a dark wall.
The prescription of Diazepam is a miracle. Out for the count. No need to count those sheep.
The chase followed me to my dream.
I searched high and low for you. I called every person I could think of that was close to you. I had someone, but can't remember who, who was with me to help me find you. I gave up. I cried. I lost.
Was dragged out that night to somewhere in Shaftsbury, London. Hated it. Wanted to go home and sleep forever.
I walked off from the others, and wondered on my own. Didn't care how dangerous it was for me to be on my own late that night. Didn't care what happened to me.
I came across some live music being played. It sounded great, so I followed the sounds of the guitars.
Big plaque named "The Garrick Theatre" was the one main thing I remembered clearly. Does it even exist?
The forum was half full, almost towards the end of a gig. I peered through, and saw you playing on stage.
"WHAT THE FUCK" I thought.
Didn't know how I felt, but definitely felt I had to go.
Your guitar stopped playing, and I realised you had noticed me then. I walked faster, then began to run.
When did a alley way exist in Shaftsbury Avenue area? Who cares, I ran down there. Pass the market stalls that had barbed wired on the ground to trip me up.
You shouted my name. I ignored and ran even faster.
I ran myself into a dark wall.
Thursday, 10 November 2011
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
Saturday, 29 October 2011
Sunday, 9 October 2011
Saturday, 8 October 2011
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